Funny thing

So sometimes your life takes turns that you couldn't foresee. Like when someone who you thought would love you forever decides he doesn't want to... and chooses to love someone else... like when your heart mends when you never thought it would... when you begin to look to the future with absolutely no certainty whatsoever... but something vaguely resembling hope.

Tragedy and Triumph

So I've often wondered why for some people, life seems to come easy. All goes according to plan, things fall into place. It seems unfair that some people seem to have everything, and others--often those who we would think deserve it the most, have to struggle. A friend once explained it that God sometimes let's us face hard times so we come to know him in a deeper way, so that we grow in our knowledge of Him. One wonders if you come to a point where you can't grow any more.

I've also heard it said that God has the right to break a vessel to show what he has poured into it. Because only in our brokenness does our true source of strength show.

So this guy, my prom date, has had an eventful time of it since high school. And the happy events of college, and marriage and going to seminary and having a baby girl might have been overshadowed by tragic events such as an accident, the death of his wife, and multiple injuries to recover from...but for the grace of God.

God promises us that he won't give us more than we can handle. I have no doubt that his promise is true--but sometimes I wonder about what he thinks one man can handle.

My friend told me of what had happened to him, and turns around and asks me what he can pray for me about. He says that he has seen the hand of God provide at every turn. He finds the good. He seeks to be a blessing to others.

And I'm amazed. At his faith. To see someone who has come through the fire and come out still praising God on the other side is quite a beautiful sight to see.

my almost high school sweetheart

So I didn't like high school. Well, maybe I did. But I didn't like high school nearly as much I liked college. I always liked the school work, and I had some good friends--I guess it was the politics of high school I never liked. The popular and the not so popular..I made it by in high school.

One of the highlights of my senior year was a guy who was in my economics class. He was looking at some of the same colleges I was, and he was terribly funny. Shy.. quiet--but funny. He'd make snide comments in class under his breath so I could hear them and I would laugh--usually loudly.

He threw on the track & field team. I managed the girls team. He'd give me rides home from meets. I always had such a fun time when I was with him. Something about him put me at ease...made me forget my awkwardness. I found a journal entry from high school and one of the things on my list of things to do was to get him to pay attention to me.

So imagine my elation when one afternoon, after a meet, in his car, outside my house, before I went in.. he asked if I'd like to do something with him sometime. And I said sure! and after he drove away? I did a little dance of joy on my driveway.

And we went to the movies, and to a fast food place afterward. And it was great. And about a week or two later, he called me up and asked me to the prom. And I was elated again...

And prom was just lovely. I mean, as lovely as awkward teenage rituals can be. I found friends during the fast dances, and went back and found him for every slow dance. I don't remember all the details of the night, but I loved being there with him.

Awhile later, after graduation, possibly the following year, I came into some preseason football tickets. And since he was practically the only guy I knew who liked football at the time, I called him up. And we went. We got lost on the way, and he got frustrated, but we went. And had a great time, from what I remember.

And then I lost touch with him. I saw him briefly after college at a retail store where I was working, but nothing more.

Imagine my surprise when he found me on Facebook a few months ago. And was single.

Still breathing

I was informed by my dear big brother that I've been remiss at blogging as of late. I'm sure he's the only one that has noticed, but just in case he's not, I'd like to say that I'm still alive and kicking, and should have something to say soon.

Sometimes it's a matter of having too much to say and not knowing where to start. Maybe I'll start at the very beginning...a very good place to start.

Greatest of these is Love.

So I just started a study with some girls from my church on the Fruit of the Spirit. And we started with the first and foremost fruit of LOVE.
And I was struck when we were talking about how God is love, that God has to be so much more. HE has so many more characteristics other than love, doesn't He? His justice and power and His beauty--and yet, maybe it isn't our definition of God that is lacking.

Maybe it is our definition of LOVE. Maybe true love encompasses all that God is. And all the wonder and beauty and might and mystery and steadfastness that is the God we serve.

So if we allow God to love others through us? When we choose to say, I can't do this, but you can Lord. What amazing love will be ours.

Profound and not so profound

My brain has been on another planet for the last few days and I'm not sure why. Actually, I have my suspicions, but I will probably leave my speculations til another time...a time when things are clearer, and wonderings are more solid.

But until then, I feel like I should have something profound to say. Life goes on around me, and it occurs to me that I, a lover words, should have some deep observation to make, using eloquent turns of phrase.

And yet, oddly enough--I'm out of words.

Tell me why

Why is it that we so often look to what is missing in our lives? Why do only want what others have, instead of enjoying what God has given us?

I am abundantly blessed. I just moved into a new house. It's a very cute house, and I'm renting it with a sweet friend, for very little money. My landlord is my church, my commute is short. We have a front porch and brand new windows and appliances. We even have a yard and neighbors--and an attic.

My family is all healthy, and doing well. They're also closeby. My mom and I like to hang out. My dad is still safely trucking around the country. My brother and his wife just had another baby--another boy. I'm an aunt again.

I am employed. I work as the assistant of one of the funniest men I know, who cares about me and how I'm doing, not just how I do my job. I get to help proclaim God's love to dark corners of the world for a living.

And best of all, I know Jesus. I know He has taken all of my hurts and sins and paid the price for me. I know that I can spend eternity with Him.

Pretty great life, right? I need to see all He's done, instead of what I think I need. Because I'm so very often wrong.