Birthday Reflections

Ok. So I have to come to grips with something. I turn 30 today. Yes, that's right. Goodbye twenties. I'm actually 30. It's weird.

It's not that I don't want to be thirty--I mean, the alternative to having another birthday is not having one and that would be bad. I'm glad to have a birthday. And I'm pretty confidant that I look younger than my age. People ask me regularly where I go to school and I love telling them that I've been out of school for eight years.

It's just...I thought my life would look different than this at thirty, that I would have more figured out. That being a grown up would be easier by now. The older I get, the more I'm convinced that everyone is just faking it. Just acting like they know what they're doing. I know the people I looked up to when I was a teenager were in their twenties and thirties and I was pretty sure they had life figured out. They were adults and knew how to do things and get things done.

But if they were anything like me now--they didn't have a clue, really. They just got good at looking as if they did.

Maybe that's what being grown up is all about. Knowing you're clueless, but being good at acting as if you weren't. Accepting the fact that you'll never really have it all together, but knowing that Someone will catch you when you fall and bring people into your life that are better at pretending than you are.

So here's to being 30. I can handle this. Honest.