Words and pictures

Recently I had a friend save all the information from my old computer on to this one, and just now have had a chance to read some of the material. About five years ago, I apparently had taken to writing a legacy for any future generations who cared to see what it was like to be me. Let me tell you, it must have been a lot easier to be me then than it is to be me now.. because I was a lot smarter! The wisdom I found in these lines would astound you. I had no doubt of God having a plan. I thought that if things weren't "the way they were supposed to be" then God had something greater in mind. I was firmly convinced.

How was my younger self so much smarter than my older self? Is it merely a matter of my older self feeling jaded? Tossed around a little too often by this plan God has for my life? Have I simply lost sight of that assurance that used to come so easily? What has so complicated my life that I've lost my grip of that most important thing?

Maybe I was just writing for posterity. I wanted to sound like I had used my lessons to become a better person, a better Christian, so future generations could do the same--but it doesn't really give an accurate picture of my heart when I wrote it.

Maybe I was just better at lying to myself back then.

On a similar note I've also been thinking about photographs. I've been feeling a bit blue and unsure of myself lately. So I thought I'd cheer myself up by making a sort of "I'm pretty blessed" encouragement collage for myself. I raided my picture collection and took all the pictures I found of me and people and me being silly and pictures of family and fun times, and I stuck them to my wall.. there must be over a hundred at least (so I have too much time on my hands...sue me)and it takes up most of my bedroom wall. But it makes me smile, so it has served its purpose.

It also makes me realize why some people don't like pictures very much. We always smile for pictures. In almost every one of those pictures (the ones I like, anyway, and therefore the ones I chose) I'm smiling, with very few exceptions. And though my life has been good, it's not always been happy. So those pictures, like my wisdom for posterity, are a very unrealistic picture of the way things were.

So here's to honesty...in word, deed and pictures.

But I think I like the pictures anyway. I like to think that God gives us reasons to smile, laugh and have a good time even amidst sadness, confusion and pain. And if the joy is what we remember and commemorate--then God has fulfilled that promise of bringing everything to our good.

And if God can use my own words to encourage me, then think of what other creative twists he may have in store.